diamondlife

The British version of those "You know you're from..." memes was so incredibly banal and uninspired that I decided to make my own.

You Know You're From Yorkshire When...

You can pronounce the words "Slaithwaite", "Gomersal" and "Worsbrough". When you talk about spice, you don't (always) mean cumin and chilli powder. There's no difference between the "u" in cup and the "oo" in foot. Nottingham is in the South. "Laking" is something kids do in the playground. Denby Dale is a good place to go for pie. There's nothing funny about Wetwang. Or Grimsby. All those southern shires are all the same, really, aren't they? If you hear someone saying "bahth" or "glahss", you're automatically suspicious of them. It's not countryside if it doesn't have heather and rocks on it. You'll happily go to every shop in town, before returning to the first one you went into, in order to save 50p off that CD/pair of shoes/brand new car. You call the bus driver/barman/etc "pal" rather than "mate". Fish and chips are fried in lard. A sandwich from the baker's comes in a teacake. (Or a breadcake. But South Yorkshire is a bit weird like that.) London is a holiday destination. If you know where to look, you can still get your 20p deposit back off a bottle of lemonade. You think anyone who votes Conservative should be, at best, sent to the mental ward; at worst, shot. Someone in your family, at some point in the past, may have had a whippet. When you get a pie, it comes with mushy peas and mint sauce. (That appears to be a Rotherham thing, to be honest.) Bonfire Night means parkin and cinder toffee. A curd tart, though, is a delicious sweet snack any time of year. You don't answer the door on the 31st of October or the 4th of November. In fact, on the latter, you hide yourself, your car, your pets and anything you keep in your garden. It's not tea if you can't tar roads with it.

OK, OK, that's enough. That took me, like, three quarters of an hour. I'm sure I could've thought of some better ones, too, if I didn't live in a house of pansy southerners. ;p

I discovered chamomile tea at the weekend. I like! :9