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Jun. 15th, 2006 11:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
diamondlifeSeveral hundred years ago, I did the drabble meme! Well, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
miyukis_4 gave me Sanzo, Goku and the prompt of Internalise, and I've been working on it for, like, weeks. Far longer than it should've taken! I'm happy enough with it to post it here for now, but there's probably bits that I could work on. (It'd be nice to get the extra 32 words, make it an even 500, so if you have any suggestions for bits that you'd like to see expanded on a little have at it!)
Completely worksafe. Comments are the opium of the writer!
Sanzo doesn't smile often. He never has, Goku knows this, but every so often, he thinks about it with a small twist of disappointment. He doesn't know why; it wasn't like he ever expected Sanzo to change, or even that he wants that. But it'd be nice, Goku thinks, to know Sanzo was happy, content, just sometimes. He wonders if Sanzo ever really is.
Goku thinks, I want to make you smile.
He can feel it weighing on him, dull and preoccupying, but he doesn't say anything to Sanzo – doesn't know what words he'd use, even if he thought there was any point trying.
Maybe he's being suspiciously quiet this evening, because Sanzo says "I don't need to hear your voice to know what you're thinking, monkey."
Goku stares at him, leans close, hoping Sanzo won't pull away. "Are you then? Happy?" he clarifies, not giving Sanzo the chance.
Unexpectedly, Sanzo is quiet for a moment, and the derision doesn't quite come in the way Goku expected. "Listen, Goku," Sanzo says without malice, "I'd've thought you'd've got it by now, but I'll tell you again. You can only rely on yourself to make you happy. No-one else can do that for you."
Goku thinks that he already knew that, but that doesn't stop him wanting Sanzo to smile. He thinks that it doesn't matter what someone does, if you love them it makes you happy; but if you don't, it won't change a thing.
Goku thinks, You are that for me.
He pauses so long that Sanzo has turned away, is reading in the lamplight. But eventually he says, "Why can't you do it? Decide to be happy!"
Sanzo turns back to look at him, and Goku can feel himself flush – alright, that was a stupid, petulant thing to say, especially to Sanzo; of course, Goku says lots of stupid things, and Sanzo scolds him for them, but this time's different. He was serious, and being scolded for that is maybe more than Goku can face.
He jumps up, ready to leave; he keeps his head down, but risks a glance at Sanzo out of the corner of his eye, and pauses. Sanzo looks like he's going to say something, and Goku lets himself imagine, for a brief, optimistic moment that maybe he'll say something like Stupid monkey, I am happy, here, with you because that's what Goku would say.
But Sanzo doesn't say anything at all. It's a relief, because Sanzo never hesitates to let Goku know when he's being an idiot. But he's quiet, and Goku has time to think We're both still here, aren't we? We're both still alive, aren't we?
Goku sits back down again, and Sanzo stops looking, satisfied. Because really, Goku thinks, that's all either of them really needs to ask.
END
I hate to leave fic bare like that, but my brain isn't capable of thinking of anything else to add right now. ^^'
miyukis_4 gave me Sanzo, Goku and the prompt of Internalise, and I've been working on it for, like, weeks. Far longer than it should've taken! I'm happy enough with it to post it here for now, but there's probably bits that I could work on. (It'd be nice to get the extra 32 words, make it an even 500, so if you have any suggestions for bits that you'd like to see expanded on a little have at it!)Completely worksafe. Comments are the opium of the writer!
Sanzo doesn't smile often. He never has, Goku knows this, but every so often, he thinks about it with a small twist of disappointment. He doesn't know why; it wasn't like he ever expected Sanzo to change, or even that he wants that. But it'd be nice, Goku thinks, to know Sanzo was happy, content, just sometimes. He wonders if Sanzo ever really is.
Goku thinks, I want to make you smile.
He can feel it weighing on him, dull and preoccupying, but he doesn't say anything to Sanzo – doesn't know what words he'd use, even if he thought there was any point trying.
Maybe he's being suspiciously quiet this evening, because Sanzo says "I don't need to hear your voice to know what you're thinking, monkey."
Goku stares at him, leans close, hoping Sanzo won't pull away. "Are you then? Happy?" he clarifies, not giving Sanzo the chance.
Unexpectedly, Sanzo is quiet for a moment, and the derision doesn't quite come in the way Goku expected. "Listen, Goku," Sanzo says without malice, "I'd've thought you'd've got it by now, but I'll tell you again. You can only rely on yourself to make you happy. No-one else can do that for you."
Goku thinks that he already knew that, but that doesn't stop him wanting Sanzo to smile. He thinks that it doesn't matter what someone does, if you love them it makes you happy; but if you don't, it won't change a thing.
Goku thinks, You are that for me.
He pauses so long that Sanzo has turned away, is reading in the lamplight. But eventually he says, "Why can't you do it? Decide to be happy!"
Sanzo turns back to look at him, and Goku can feel himself flush – alright, that was a stupid, petulant thing to say, especially to Sanzo; of course, Goku says lots of stupid things, and Sanzo scolds him for them, but this time's different. He was serious, and being scolded for that is maybe more than Goku can face.
He jumps up, ready to leave; he keeps his head down, but risks a glance at Sanzo out of the corner of his eye, and pauses. Sanzo looks like he's going to say something, and Goku lets himself imagine, for a brief, optimistic moment that maybe he'll say something like Stupid monkey, I am happy, here, with you because that's what Goku would say.
But Sanzo doesn't say anything at all. It's a relief, because Sanzo never hesitates to let Goku know when he's being an idiot. But he's quiet, and Goku has time to think We're both still here, aren't we? We're both still alive, aren't we?
Goku sits back down again, and Sanzo stops looking, satisfied. Because really, Goku thinks, that's all either of them really needs to ask.
END
I hate to leave fic bare like that, but my brain isn't capable of thinking of anything else to add right now. ^^'
